Seems things are always changing here. Not by chance, we seem to seek these changes out. I think had we been alive back in the day we would have been Nomads or something. Three years seems to be our mark for drastic change. Most of our children are just about 3 years apart. We moved for my husband to get his Masters in Social Work after three years, then three years later moved across state again once he had graduated. Two years later we had our fourth child and then one year later picked up and moved again. Now less than a year of being at our current house we are changing again. Husband wants to go back to school, something he has been talking about since I met him over 12 years ago. I never thought it would actually happen but suddenly it seems that dream may become a reality. God is sending us down a path and while we don't know what His plan is we are looking forward to what it may bring. This one change is the first of many that we are actually not worried about. Though there is tons to worry about and I am sure there will be many hurdles and obstacles in our path this one just seems right. I feel peace when I think about it. Though it is technically Joe's path it happens to take me somewhere I never ever though I would be. Not somewhere actually but "someone" I guess. A title I would never imagine would be me.
Those of you who know me in real life know I am quiet. I like sitting back and watching. Standing up in front of more than a few people is enough to make my heart race and my stomach feel like emptying itself of the days contents. Once I get to know you I talk but being the "center" is not something I enjoy or pursue being. Suddenly I find myself there way more often than I like and I find people, many people, telling me that God puts me where I am supposed to be. At first it so irritated me when Joe told me how much of a leader I am, actually it still does. I am going to deny it all. Me? A leader? Ha, thats laughable.
I wish I could just continue to deny where we are headed sometimes. As the past few months have gone on it is becoming more and more apparent that I need to get over this and just do it because I know personally what happens when you tell God no. Submitting to something that is not MY plan is hard for me. I am a planner, I love my lists and my details so knowing that God has a plan for me and I just need to submit to his will and LISTEN is hard. But it also feels so right. Our journey will continue and I will keep you updated as things progress. I am not quite ready to share it all but I will as things unfold. In the meantime I welcome your prayers that Joe and I stay on the path God has for us, that we can grow in our marriage with Christ at the center, and that we can open ourselves enought to listen because ONLY GOD knows where we are headed.
Love and prayers to all!
1 comment:
Good luck and smooth sailing! I was a planner too and for many years I tried to make my life what I thought it should be and was constantly disappointed, frustrated, running into brick walls, etc.
At some point I discovered that if I sit back patiently and wait to see what the universe (or God, if you prefer) has in store for me that things just seem to fall into place.
It was a struggle to learn to let go of control and sometimes I just can't, but this one discovery has brought me more peace than almost any other epiphany I've had. I seldom feel like I'm trying to fight to make my life be something it is not.
Even when things are tough, I feel so much more content and at peace with the world because I know that my path will be revealed if I am just open to change and patient about it.
Wishing you lots of peace on your journey and I'm curious to see where you end up!
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