Friday, May 30, 2008


I started reading the book for bible study while I was putting Marah down for a nap today. Although I have only finished one chapter it is JUST what I need. Lately I have been feeling a bit down and really struggling. Adding Naomi to our family has really thrown me into a funk. Not a postpartum depression funk just a how do I get it all done, how come everyone else can do it, what is my purpose here? kind of funk. I have been getting upset and irritated with the smallest things the kids do and overall been a grouch. I have noticed it and have just been at a loss as to why I feel this way.

Lately I have not really been one to read, when do I have time I would think. I'm too tired at night and find it almost impossible to remember what I have read when the kids are running around me. When I went to nurse Marah down for her nap I took my book with me. It was quiet and I made it almost through chapter one. I was so interested and wanting to finish that I grabbed my book, a notebook, and my bible and sent the older ones outside. I sat down at the table and finished chapter one. This book is exactly what I need. So many times while reading I have been nodding or thinking YES that is how I feel right now!

Chapter one is titled Decide to Decide. I know it sounds so self help like doesn't it. LOL

Here are some things that caught my eye:

When you live your life accidentally, just meandering along, don't be surprised if your life becomes an accident. Drifting produces depressing results. Neglect relationships, and you'll see people walking away from you; neglect personal growth, and you'll see others pass you up on the ladder to success; neglect your health, and you'll see your energy and vitality diminish. To not decide is to decide, but often the results are tragic. Instead, decide that today you will see life through new eyes.

I needed a new mirror because my expectations, others' expectations of me, and God's expectations all seemed to be jumbled up together.

My mirror was so warped that when I sat down to think and plan, my list grew; when others talked with me, my list grew; and even when I read the Bible, my list grew. Sometimes I felt as though God were making my to-do list longer and longer. Because my perspective was so distorted, I thought God's expectations of me were impossible to fulfill. I found myself consistently angry with Him, even though I knew He loved me.

The bigger question is: Why do we as women feel bad about ourselves when we see a woman using her God-given gifts and talents well? Why do we sometimes feel that if we are not doing the same thing in the same way, we must be a failure? Why do some of us fall into a pattern of jealousy or, worse, apathy, if our life isn't what we see in other' lives? Decide to decide that you will not fall prey to the negative but rather to choose to make some positive changes to gain the life you have always dreamed of, or, better yet, the one God has dreamed up for you!

God's view of you is concrete. Genuine significance is rooted and grounded in Him.

When I see myself through His eyes, I realize my value. I am nothing more than a woman saved by His grace, but I am nothing less than a new creation.

As I see myself from God's point of view, the pieces fall together easier because God holds the box top to the puzzle. He already sees the completed picture of me and my life. My relationship with Him is the key that unlocks the puzzle's solution.

You Are...

The salt of the earth, the light of the world Mathew 5:13-14
More valuable than birds Luke 12:24
In Me and I in you John 14:20; 17:21
Already clean John 15:3
The branches John 15:5
Heirs of the prophets and of the covenant Acts 3:25
Servants of the Most High Acts 16:17
Called Romans 1:6-7
Weak in your natural selves Romans 6:19
Still worldly 1 Corinthians 3:2-4
God's fellow workers, God's field, and Gods building 1 Corinthians 3:9
God's temple 1 Corinthians 3:16-17
Strong, honored 1 Corinthians 4:10
A temple of the Holy Spirit 1 Corinthians 6:19
Standing, firm 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
Part of the body of Christ 1 Corinthians 12:27
A letter from Christ 2 Corinthians 3:1-3
Christ's ambassador 2 Corinthians 5:20
Sons of God Galatians 3:26
Abraham's seed Galatians 3:28-29
Sons, an heir Galatians 4:6-10
Children of the promise Galatians 4:27-28
Fellow citizens and members of God's household Ephesians 2:19
Children of the light Ephesians 5:8
Standing firm 1 Thessalonians 3:8
Sons of the light and sons of the day 1 Thessalonians 5:4-5
Slow to learn Hebrews 5:11
Mist James 4:14
Living stones 1 Peter 2:5
A chosen people, a royal priesthood, and a holy nation 1 Peter 2:9-10
Daughters of Sarah 1 Peter 3:6


quickgirl said...

I came to your blog to read about the LFG conference but I read this post too. I'm so happy for you that you have found this group of women that you can share you faith with. I'm especially glad that Marah is doing so well in the childcare. It must be so nice to have that time to have adult conversation and complete a thought, and so on . . .

Candice said...

This was a really great post. :)

Amoreena said...

{{Hugs!}} 3 to 4 sounds like such a big transition, it'd be impossible to not get tired and stressed. Go easy on yourself mama, you do a great job with those kiddos! Finding sometime to for yourself to get centered will help keep the grouch monster away.

So glad that you've found some inspirational reading and a group to connect with. Hope it goes smoothly and I bet Marah would stay w/ me sometime if you needed a break ;)